National Pepperoni Pizza Day – The “Teamwork” Special

This Friday is National Pepperoni Pizza Day—the unofficial holiday that perfectly embodies the corporate teamwork experience, the one where everyone is “working together” to choose toppings, but somehow we still end up with a pizza that feels like someone else’s dream pizza. Kind of like that last cross-departmental project—where teamwork meant nodding along to whatever the Boss decided while everyone else mentally checked out.

On this Pizza Day, it is quite appropriate to recall Jeff Bezos’s wisdom: if two pizzas can’t feed your team, your meeting (and likely your team) is too big. Except here’s the catch: in today’s corporate world, if you tried feeding even a small team with two pizzas, you’d run into gluten-free requests, dairy-free substitutions, vegan preferences – all the way to “can we just get salads instead?” – a clear signal that your management style isn’t ‘inclusive’ enough.

Here’s a Pizza-induced takeaway: if you need more than two pizzas to keep your meeting attendees happy, maybe the problem isn’t the pizza. Maybe it’s that you’ve curated a petting zoo instead of a team. Because when “diversity” means catering to every whim instead of hitting actual goals, you’re not building a team—you’re babysitting. Bezos wasn’t suggesting fewer pizzas because he was cheap; he understood that too many cooks spoil the soup. Or in this case, turn your pepperoni pizza into a gluten-free, dairy-free, vegan pablum.

So here’s to a no-nonsense all-dressed Pepperoni Pizza! Because real teamwork is about getting things done, not catering to an unrealistic all-inclusive diet. Happy Friday, and may your meetings be small, your pizzas large, and your weekend free of corporate leadershit.

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