Fridays Just Hit Differently These Days

Is it just me, or has life become exponentially more entertaining since last November? The flow of hilarious events accumulated by Friday (#TGIF) now feels like getting your Diet Coke (Trump’s favorite!) refill straight from a fire hydrant (conveniently painted MAGA red, because why not).

Take last Friday, for instance. Remember when I mentioned Trump’s “memorial coin”? At the time, many of us (myself included) thought it was satire. Turns out, the joke’s on us—it’s real, it’s called $TRUMPF, and its value fluctuates as wildly as his opinion on crypto.

Speaking of crypto, our favourite reality TV star turned political performance artist has done a miraculous 180. The man who once dismissed it as “a disaster” now seems to think it’s part of God’s divine portfolio. Perhaps there was a tectonic shift in his cranium the moment he decided he wasn’t just sent by God but deployed as his personal rep on Earth.

Lately, Trump says he can call anyone: King Charles, the Pope, even God himself. Inspired, I thought, Why not try? So, I gave Jesus a ring. While He wasn’t available (probably in back-to-back miracles), his team did leave me with a hot tip:

“Check out Philippe de Champaigne’s Le Denier de César at the Musée des Beaux-Arts in Montreal. Pay close attention—it’s undergoing a divine, one-day-only transformation to reveal God’s latest memo. If you’re attentive and humble enough, you’ll spot exactly eight differences in the painting. Find them, and you’ll uncover the message.”

Naturally, I went the next morning and captured the divinely upgraded masterpiece—the very one I’m sharing with you now. But here’s the kicker: I can’t guarantee this heavenly Photoshop job won’t revert to its earthly original at any moment. Unless, of course, Trump orders God to keep it this way. But having deciphered the divine message, I’m pretty sure that’s not happening.

So take a good look. Let me know: What’s different? And more importantly, what’s the message from above?